Reflecting On Younger Years
I attended a Middle School orientation for my oldest son this week. I sat, with all the other parents, in our kids’ future lunchroom, which had white tables, blue chairs, and lots of windows—similar to my middle school lunchroom. The principal talked about the personal discovery that takes place in these formative years.
Middle School is often when people start deciding what they want to be. Is this true for you? Do you remember things you discovered about yourself in Middle School that influenced your major life choices?
I remember Middle School as one of the best and hardest times in my life. I discovered many things I was passionate about, and I loved the independence I began to experience. But I also got in a lot of trouble for passing notes to my friends.
I danced competitively, I didn’t make the cheerleading squad, but I did make the volleyball team, I learned to speak French, and I discovered Shakespeare and the value of reading a text more than once. We spent an entire semester on A Mid-Summer’s Night Dream. We read it independently and aloud, we watched a movie adaptation, and we went to see a live performance of a ballet at the Cleveland Playhouse.
In Middle School, I discovered how much I love reading and discussing poetry aloud in community. This joy continued through High School, and I studied it as an undergrad, but then I became an adult and all of a sudden I was 35 and I realized I hadn’t written a poem in over a decade. How had that happened?
Were there any healthy passions you discovered when you were in Middle School that you have since left behind? Something you used to do when you were in the 6th, 7th, 8th grades, and which brought you joy and fulfillment, but which you no longer do?
What if Looking Both Ways in our lives requires reflecting on our choices, and creating ways to circle back to those paths we didn’t take?
Here is one of the first poems I wrote when I started again; it’s simple and sassy.
“No Refunds”. It speaks to these moments when we might need to circle back.
Roads Not Taken
How can we talk about this without considering Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Not Taken”? Frost wrote this poem for a friend, Edward Thomas, who was chronically indecisive and often second-guessed his choices1. Although Frost was comedically inspired by his friend, the poem has been taken quite seriously and has become a myth for Americans. At first glance, it is often read as though both paths are quite different, because that’s how Frost surmises his decision-making process, but, in fact, the body of the poem says that both paths were worn about the same, and neither had yet been trodden on that day. But, after the poet chooses which way to go, he says,
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
Then the poet declares that the way he took was indeed the way less traveled and that this has made all the difference. What an interesting counter-reflection, and if you think about it—a bold insight into the power of storytelling.
So, I would like us to Look Both Ways here; to reflect on how Way leads on to Way, and to circle back to our proverbial forks. What subject was once a great part of your life that you enjoyed, which you, if you’re being honest with yourself, are no longer doing?
Kids typically have a lot of free time, and study all of the subjects. As we grow older we tend to specialize, and with less free time it’s easy for our paths to narrow, or take us deeply in specific directions. But there are so many ways to circle back to old dreams as an adult and to weave our younger selves into our present lives. Or maybe this circling back is an inspiration to try something new again—like a twelve-year-old would do.
If you’re already doing so, please share in the chat. Maybe offer a resource that has enriched your life to inspire others. I know, my husband recently started playing tennis again, and he is so much happier. Another old friend returned to dance classes, while yet another just picked up pottery, one joined a band, and my brother has started woodworking and golf.
My Writerly Recommendations
I will give a shout-out to my poetry teacher Genine Lentine who has two wonderful classes. One on the weekends where you do a meditative combination of writing & accomplishing tasks in a Zen practice called Soji. It’s incredibly fulfilling and productive. And another called Stanza on Wednesday evenings where you discuss poems in community.
Also:
The Writer’s Studio for more incredible craft classes.
A Guided Loving-Kindness Meditation
Lastly, here is a meditation for you. The purpose of this loving-kindness meditation is to generate Care and Compassion for yourself, for your younger self, and for all young people.
Moving Forward—
In the future, the meditations and yoga recordings will be for paid subscribers. I appreciate how many of you have pledged to support this work, and by making this a professional relationship, it will be that much easier for me to prioritize sharing quality offerings with you.
Thank you & wishing you all the best,
h://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/89511/robert-frost-the-road-not-taken