Flipping A Coin
Heads You Win
I overheard a little boy the other day. He said, “I’m trash,” as he smacked himself in the head. I wanted to give him a hug. I wanted to say “please don’t talk to yourself that way.” I wanted to warn him about perfectionism.
I wanted to say, “Perfectionism is the desire to do everything impeccably. It’s a noble goal, but incomplete. Acceptance is on the flip side of that coin. Acceptance is the partner to perfectionism in the desire to succeed. It’s the balance; it’s necessary.”
I wanted to have a coin to take out of my pocket, and to flip it in the air for him to catch. I’d nod and walk on.
I saw the boy again the next day. He was sitting on a bench waiting for someone to pick him up from school. He was on his computer, but I imagined him flipping a coin over and over, trying to make space for how he felt after another day of being human.
I imagined him saying “Acceptance you win. Perfectionism I lose.”
I wanted to say to him, “Take the whole coin with you.”
