Do you ever pause and give yourself credit for all you accomplish? Do you ever say to yourself, “Wow, I am so proud of you. Look at all you have overcome. You had a really tough year/decade, and still you________________, and you _______________, and you pulled through, and look where you are, and look where you’re headed.”
Note: It can help to say (or write) something like this to yourself in the second person (you), like you’re talking to a friend, to have a little narrative distance.
And, maybe take this a step further. If you were going to be nominated for an award, what would it be? Something serious? Or humorous? Dare you write an acceptance speech, just in case? When was the last time you celebrated your life accomplishments? Is it time to dress up, make a reservation with friends, order champagne, and celebrate all you do and the people who support you?
Now, in addition to celebrating, do you Look Both Ways? Do you ever say to yourself, in a moment of compassionate honesty, “Wow, I could have handled that better. How am I going to make amends? How will I do better next time?”
Note: This is an internal conversation to try in first person (I) so it doesn’t sound accusatory (How could you?).
Yes, we are so dynamic we might need both self-compassion and compassionate self-criticism on any given day. When we can stand in our own center and see ourselves as both incredible and incredibly flawed, we gain access to a kindness that flows to our humanness and will keep flowing towards the humans around us.
Whether you are currently in a state of surviving or thriving—Recognition for what you are going through—and Consideration for how you can improve your methods will help you focus and clear your mind.
Next week’s publication for paid subscribers is a guided meditation for developing these notes of self-compassion and compassionate self-critique.
At the end of the day, it’s all about awareness. Awareness is a secret ingredient for a clear mind and creative life.